Happy Birthday
by hazy afterglow
Summary: Hermione goes to visit Ron after a year and has to deal with painful memories of him from her past.


Thank you Samantha for helping me a ton on this story. We really do share a brain.  
  
  
  
Hermione walked up to the hill where he was, the grass slippery with evening dew beneath her feet. It had been so long since she had last seen him, but she had to come today. Not all could be forgotten between them.  
  
"'Lo, Ron. I've missed you..." Her voice caught in her throat as she set the flowers down. "We all have. Harry wanted to come so much, but... It was too hard for him, Ron." Hermione picked at the wet grass, unable to look directly at it. If she did, the tearing pain would rush over her, the realization that it would never be the same. "I'm doing well, if you want to know. I'm working with the Auror department at the Ministry. Harry's an Auror, you know. We're all really close to catching Voldemort... We owe you that." She wiped away a tear as it slipped down her cheek. This was impossible.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ron. I'm so, so sorry. If only you hadn't been so good... You had to think with your heart, didn't you?" She forced her eyes up from the grass to look at it. A sob overcame her as the memories flooded back.  
  
//The Death Eaters were running throughout Hogwarts, their bitter laughter echoing amongst the screams of their victims. Voldemort had commanded them to kill as many as they could, acting as a reminder to everyone that the Dark Lord had returned. The portrait had been ripped open, and they flooded inside. Hermione watched as bodies of those she knew fell around her, Ron's hand gripping hers as hard as he could. It wasn't supposed to be like this, with all the terror and destruction. They were supposed to graduate that year...  
  
Finally they had reached the panic room at Hogwarts. No one could get them while they were in there. Hermione was opening the door when she heard a muffled thump from behind. She spun quickly on her heels to witness the scene behind her. Harry had been thrown to the ground behind her, and Ron's grip on her hand only tightened.  
  
Hermione screamed as a Death Eater pointed his wand at her. She could imagine him smirking under his mask, yearning to feel the power of murder. Out of nowhere she was thrown to the floor, Ron jumping to stand where she had once been. A flash of green overtook her vision. Blinking her eyes open, she saw Ron lying motionless in front of her. She crawled over to his body, her breath hitching in her throat with fear and shock. He looked as if he were sleeping, and she kept praying that maybe he was just unconscious.  
  
"Ron... Ron, please. Wake up. They're coming..." She was pleading with him, shaking his shoulders slightly. He remained limp in her arms. Running her hands over his wrists, she searched for some kind of heartbeat. There was nothing, no movement in his chest from his breathing, nothing at all. "Ron... please, you can't leave me, not now." The pleading had only become worse, and she laid her head on his chest, her breath ragged and shallow.  
  
"Hermione!" Harry's voice screamed from in front of her, but she couldn't move. She saw the same Death Eater point his wand at her yet again, but Harry jumped on him from behind, muttering spells. The Death Eater fell to the ground.  
  
"Hermione, please, we have to get inside... There's more of them coming, Hermione..." Harry's voice was ragged and near hysterics as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders in an attempt to pull her inside the door. "Hermione, please, there's nothing you can do... He's gone..." Hermione only held onto Ron's body tighter, unable to come to the actualization. "There's nothing we can do..." He repeated, as if he were coming to the realization himself. He pried her away from Ron as more Death Eaters rounded the final corner, and they shut the door quickly behind them, now totally safe. Hermione went slack against Harry and wept into his robes. They both fell solemnly to the floor, unable to stand it any longer. "There's nothing we can do..."//  
  
"You died for me... For me, Ron, and I have no idea why. I wouldn't be missed half as much as you would be; everyone loved you that came in contact with you, Ron. You changed so many lives, and you threw it all away for your best friend..." Hermione tried to compose herself. "Sometimes... Sometimes I wish I could erase everything that happened between us, because it hurts so badly when I think of you. I ache when you pop into my head, because everything about you seems to loom over me, and I can't help but blame myself. If only I hadn't ever met you... I feel horrible for thinking those things, Ron. You changed me, you affected me in so many ways..." Hermione dried her tears on her sleeve, and, brushing the dirt from her robes, stood up.  
  
"Happy 19th birthday, Ron. I love you." 


End file.
